


The Interview

by needleyecandy



Series: Silly September [15]
Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crack, M/M, gossip rags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 04:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4863878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*****STARS TODAY****</p><p>Exclusive!!! Interview with the princes of Asgard themselves!</p><p>What is Thor grateful for?<br/>What has Loki learned in life?</p><p> </p><p>  <em>ONLY IN STARS TODAY</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Interview

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this delightful buzzfeed post.](http://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/swiss-chard-he-purrs#.yl770q8OO)
> 
> Enjoy!

I'm meeting the Odinsons for lunch at the rooftop garden restaurant of their discreetly luxurious Beverly Hills hotel, and I'm running late. Traffic was a breeze, but I couldn't find any parking, and I just hope that these two gods will have patience with my mortal tardiness. 

Thor and Loki are already at the restaurant when I arrive. Both of them jump up at once to pull my chair out for me, and I'm dazzled by their perfect smiles as their fingertips brush together on the back of it. It's hard to remember that they're both over a thousand. They look so young. We all sit down together just as the server arrives with our water glasses. 

"I hope tap is all right," Loki says to me with a wink. "I never can see the sense in paying for water." 

It's just the sort of thing I didn't expect from a prince-god, but they both turn out to be full of surprises. 

"I'm eating purple foods today," Thor tells the server as she returns for our orders. "Have you any grapes, or Okinawan sweet potatoes?" 

She winces in apology. "Would burgundy do? We have a beet salad..." 

Burgundy is _not_ purple. He won't be happy, I think to myself. What if his displeasure summons a thunderstorm? We're sitting outside, and my dress is dry-clean only. But he surprises me. "That will serve nicely, I thank you." 

The server turns to Loki. He has such a svelte figure, I am sure he will order something dizzyingly low-carb, but he gives a rippling laugh and orders the pasta. Cream sauce, no less. "And some bread while we wait, if you please," he says. "After all, you never know when you're going to find yourself floating in the void." 

I take my time pulling my notepad out of my bag, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm not only having lunch with Thor and Loki, but that they've already completely overturned all my expectations. 

I start my questions with Thor. How does it feel to know he's the number one heartthrob in all the realms, I ask him? 

His smile is so down-to-earth, for a few seconds I forget that he's not actually from earth at all. " Well, you know, growing up royal, you learn to expect that because of the title, it doesn't say anything about you as a person. Getting the same reaction outside of Asgard has been a humbling experience. Really, I'm just grateful for the opportunity to make doing good appear glamorous." 

Loki casts his brother a sharp glance, and for a moment I fear that I've stirred up old rivalries before their faces crinkle into laughter. 

Loki nods thoughtfully when I bring up his history here on earth. "Yes, I have made some mistakes in my life. But isn't that what life is all about? You make mistakes, you learn from them, and you move on. It's part of being human." He flashes me a disarming grin. "Or superhuman, in my case." 

He reaches for his glass of water with a supple hand and takes a sip. "You know what would make this even better? Sugar," he announces, and dumps in the entire contents of the sugar bowl. 

I sheepishly admit that I'd assumed he dieted. 

"Loki's always loved sweets. I call him my hummingbird, don't I?" Thor says, turning to Loki, who nods and moans blissfully as he takes a deep drink of the syrup. As he sets his glass down, he meets Thor's eyes, and I can _feel_ the electricity between them as it ruins my hair. So much for my question about whether it is difficult keeping the spark alive over the centuries. 

"I need all my energy to keep up with my brother," Loki explains. "That jolt you just got probably burned six hundred calories, and it wasn't even aimed at you." 

The server returns with a basket of breadsticks. I reach out and, after a moment's thought, take not one but two. I'm going to need it. 


End file.
